Google The Unplanned Homeschooler: parenting
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts

Monday, September 18, 2017

It's been 10 years since the scariest day of my life

Take a five pound bag of sugar and dump out about 1/4 of it. That's how much my youngest baby weighed when she was born. She was so tiny and more than a month early. I knew she was coming the day before. My doctor told me they had to take her by C-section the next morning, or risk her dying in the womb. I had less than 24 hours to process the fact that my baby was in imminent danger, and the only way to save her was a serious risk in itself.

It's been 10 years since the scariest day of my life. The Unplanned Homeschooler

That was ten years ago today. It's almost impossible to believe that my little preemie has grown into such a rambunctious, sassy, preteen girl.

The scariest thing I'd ever faced

Ten years ago, as I lay in the hospital waiting to be taken back to surgery, I could not stop the tears. The previous afternoon, the doctors had done the most advanced ultrasound workup they could do. They had estimated her weight at around three pounds, but said that her best, and likely her only chance to survive was if they could get her out of my womb quickly. My placenta was breaking down and leaving her there was sentencing her to starvation.

My youngest was supposed to be my easy baby. My healthy singleton. I'd already been through a high risk pregnancy, premature birth and NICU stay with my twins. But things don't always go according to plan. My twins were both born bigger than her and a week further along, and their first few months had been arduous. I was so scared. Would she survive the birth? If so, would she make it through the challenges that surely awaited? There were no guarantees.

Monday, September 4, 2017

Whatever they've done, it will be okay

She's sitting on her bed, a tear rolling down her cheek, feeling completely and utterly alone. She's embarrassed, and ashamed, and she doesn't know what to do. No part of her can believe that you will understand this thing she did. Or forgive her for it. She's never done anything like it before. She doesn't even understand why she did it, or why she was tempted to do it again.

Maybe God can't even forgive her. She tries to pray, but feels so ashamed and unworthy.

If only you knew this secret she carried, you could take her in your arms and promise her it would be okay. You could reassure her that you love her, no matter what, and that God loves her even more.

His capacity for forgiveness is immeasurable, and because it is a gift that He gives freely, there is no question of being undeserving. Nothing we ever do could make us "deserving" of God's love... He just loves us because He does, even when we screw up monumentally.

If she would just come to you, you could share with her your own frailty, and your own confidence that you have been forgiven, maybe for things even worse than this horrible secret that is eating away at her. You could help her see that there are ways to make things right, and even if something can't be undone, there are ways to start over on a good path, to rebuild trust, to feel better. What can you do when you don't even know she's hurting?

Saturday, July 5, 2014

Bacon sandwiches and sappy TV make for a perfect girls' day

My husband took our son out fishing this weekend. We're not into fishing, even though I used to teach kids how to fish when I was working as a naturalist, but it's something our son really wanted to try. More than that, it was something he insisted he wanted to do with his dad.

So, my husband pulled the rod and reel his dad had passed down to him out of the back of his closet, bought some new tackle and supplies, and the two of them loaded up the car. Our youngest daughter didn't want to be left out, so she tagged along and they made a quick stop at the store to pick up a kid sized rod and reel for her, too.

That left just me and our older daughter at home alone all afternoon.

Bring on the BACON!

I knew exactly what I wanted to do. First, we'd have lunch. I made my favorite sandwiches in the whole world - BLTs. This time, they were extra good, though, because with just the two of us at home, and a whole pound of bacon to share, our sandwiches were colossal!

While we ate our bacon sandwiches, we watched part of the first season of "7th Heaven" on Hulu Plus. My daughter had never seen the show. She liked it.

The first episode featured a story line in which Lucy, the 12-year-old middle child, was dealing with the ups and downs of puberty. I found myself glancing over at my own 12-year-old daughter, amazed, because the last time I'd seen the first season she wasn't even born, and now, here she was, old enough to relate.

Spending time with the kids individually

Today was one of those awesome days when I got to spend time with just one of my kids, all alone. With three kids and a busy schedule, my husband and I don't get to do that often. It's important to make time for each of the kids, individually, though. They relate to us differently when their siblings aren't around, and they often talk fondly about the special times they spent with one or the other of us on their own.

I know bacon sandwiches and TV might not sound like an adventure, but you don't have to spend a lot of money or plan an extravagant outing to enjoy quality time with your kids. We had a very enjoyable girls' day, just the two of us, and my daughter didn't have to share my attention, or her bacon, with anyone!