Raising up resilience

It has been a while since I've written anything for my blog. The stories I wanted to write didn't seem like all mine to tell. Such is often the case when you are writing about the lives and experiences of your children, especially if your childen have disabilities. Although the things my kids were going through affected me as well, it still didn't feel right to talk about publicly unless and until they seemed ready to share. But like many homeschooling moms, I've discovered that in spite of challenges, I have been raising amazing, resilient young people and they are excited to pursue their goals in whatever manner they can.

I have three children. My twins, 18, and their little sister, who will be 13 this month. Yes, I am about to be a mom of three teens! This is an exciting time in our lives. The twins are seniors this year. They started concurrent enrollment classes at the local university last semester, and are taking more classes there this fall as we concentrate on applying for admission and scholarships for their freshman year. My son is leaning toward a career in the medical field, and my daughter is interested in finding her niche in the entertainment industry. My youngest is entering middle school and has interests as varied as any you might imagine. 

Dealing with the pandemic

This year has not been too difficult for us, as far as dealing with the pandemic is concerned. Homeschooling had already prepared us well for learning successfully at home, and although we all missed some of the social aspects of our routine, at least the educational components of our lives weren't thrown suddenly into chaos. 

Actually, taking the extra precautions we've needed to take, primarily due to my younger daughter's heart condition, has given us something of a season of rest. You see, before Covid-19 arrived on the scene, we were exceedingly busy. We had appointments scheduled multiple days each week, many of which were more than an hour away because we live in a small town. Some appointments took us hours away from home, and all had to be scheduled around the twins' college classes. 

Facing tough diagnoses

The last couple of years were spent in what seemed like a rolling snowball of of doctors and tests. My kids, all three of them, were preemies and had been dealing with mysterious issues since they were born. The twins qualified for speech, occupational and physical therapy in preschool, but we didn't know the underlying reason for their challenges. I've spent their whole lives looking for answers, but it wasn't until they were in their teens that things started to come together. Without going too much into their diagnoses, I will simply say after seeing two geneticists and multiple other specialists, we finally had definitive answers, and they were discouraging. 

It is not easy to receive life-altering diagnoses, not as the patient and not as their parent. I think having an imposed break in all the appointments, due to the pandemic, gave us all time to catch our breath. The kids' medical conditions aren't going to go away, and whatever poking and prodding and physical therapy and other work needs to be done will still be waiting when we're ready to resume. But for now, it is good to have time to focus on other things, like their college applications and dreams for the future.

Still chasing their dreams

Homeschooling has helped me to raise overcomers. My older daughter has spent a lot of time researching different jobs in the film industry, and various paths to the type of career she wants. She's spent time thinking about the limitations she might face, whether due to her mobility or tolerance of heat or cold, for instance. The flexibility she has experienced as a homeschooler has given her the ability to envision different ways to accomplish her goals.

My son's diagnoses seemed to light a fire under him. I'd done my best to open as many doors as possible throughout his education, making sure that he learned the basics and had plenty of opportunities to study subjects of interest, but he'd been pretty committed to "Undeclared" as his major until this year. Recently he has started to take a hard look at the type of career he really wants, and what sort of labor he will be able to physically do over the long haul, and he's working hard to make a plan and go for it.

My little one, who was born with a heart defect and has dealt with overcoming disability her entire life, is watching her older siblings as they deal with the challenges they face now and those that will come. She won't be tested for the same disorder until she is older and can consent on her own. Part of me just wants to know now, but I understand that it needs to be her decision. Whatever happens, she's one of the most resilient people I have ever known, and I have no doubt she will find her way.

Homeschooling made a difference

I'm not sure if my kids would have been as ready to face their challenges if I had left them in public school. By the time they finished kindergarten, the twins were already dealing with setbacks. My daughter felt like a failure on the playground, and was going hungry from the limited time she had to eat lunch. My son was drowning in a classroom that was so mismatched to his learning style he seemed doomed to fall through the cracks. Homeschooling allowed them to learn in ways that suited them, and to succeed in ways that they might never have discovered in an overcrowded school.

If you are reading this, you are probably already considering homeschooling. I encourage you to give it some serious thought, especially if you are dealing with a medically complex child. Every child has dreams, even if some of them may come with limitations. Homeschooling may be just the thing to help your child build a legacy of success and gain the courage to explore all the possibilities that await them.

A raw, honest glimpse into the journey through years of infertility - 'Hail Mary for Peanut' review

Infertility is a condition like no other I know. There is the pain, the longing, the anguish of yearning for a child and feeling like a failure, all the while dealing with the intrusive nature of treatment options and the well-meaning but often hurtful opinions of family and friends. And of course, the unending feeling of standing in an unmoving line while others inexplicably get their turns. Will your turn ever come?

Yes, I've been there. For nearly a decade before my twins were born, and then several more years before unexpectedly being blessed with our youngest. I know this journey, all too well. That's why, when I saw a fellow homeschooling mom mention her new book, Hail Mary for Peanut, on Facebook, I knew I needed to review it. 

I expected an interesting read, with familiar elements and hopefully, a happy ending. What I discovered was so much more. 

Heather Nelson's book, part memoir and part advice, is so raw and honest, it took me by surprise. She didn't just talk about the yearning, she dove deep into the feelings of sadness, anger, inadequacy and loss. She brought to life the fears and the fatigue, the hopes and the frustrations of a years-long battle with infertillity and the effects it can have on a woman and on a marriage. 

It's been more than 17 years now since I finally got the positive result on the blood test that assured me I was, indeed, pregnant at last with my twins. But reading this book took me back, all the way to the years when I prayed desperately day after day for God to give me a baby, and felt so alone.

I wish I'd had a book like this when I was going through it all. I knew other women who'd dealt with infertility. My own mother suffered through the better part of a decade before I was born. But, I can't tell you how wonderful it would have been to have been able to curl up in my bed and read these words of sisterhood from a woman who wasn't afraid to tell it all. 

If you know any woman who is going through infertility, get her this book! It may be the lifeline she needs, just to know that she is truly not alone in any of what she is feeling, and that there is hope, no matter where her journey leads. 

Learning Tangent Homeschool Magazine named one of education's top 15 publications worldwide!

Four years ago, I submitted a pitch to write for a relatively new magazine in the homeschool market. It was an inclusive magazine, open to homeschoolers of all types, and completely free of advertising  connected to the Common Core. I'd read some of the back issues, and was excited to join the team of writers, but little did I know how far Learning Tangent Homeschool Magazine would come in such a short time.

Today, Learning Tangent was named one of the top 15 education magazines in the world. Not just homeschool magazines, mind you. The top 15 of all education magazines worldwide, thousands of them!

I'm so proud to have spent the last four years with Learning Tangent Homeschool Magazine! It feels great to be part of such a great group of writers, and of course, kudos to our editor and the founder of the magazine, the talented Gail Nelson. She's given us the opportunity to reach out to so many readers and make a difference in the lives of homeschoolers around the world.