Not your ordinary pumpkin patch field trip

So, the Unplanned Homeschooler didn't exactly plan to spend hours and hours at the pumpkin patch today, but this wasn't your ordinary pumpkin patch.

The Peek-a-boo Petting Zoo in Gore, Oklahoma transformed into a pumpkin patch for the kids, complete with a hay maze, old fashioned games, hundreds of pumpkins, and lots of great spots for taking pictures. But best of all, admission still included all the time you'd like to spend with the animals at the petting zoo.

Each child in our group got a cup of feed for the animals, which included llamas, goats, sheep, donkeys, a pig, chickens, geese, turkeys, bunnies and more. The baby bunnies and chicks were the favorites of most of the kids, by a wide margin.

There were lots of games to play, too, and a playground with a see-saw big enough for lots of kids to pile on and ride. And of course, every kid in our group got to take home a pumpkin. Some chose large pumpkins.

Others chose small pumpkins.

And then some chose pumpkins that could only make you laugh!

What should you do when your bullied child begs to be homeschooled?

This week, I read a post on Facebook from a mom who was homeschooling one son, and had two other kids in public elementary school. Her younger son, who'd been asking to be homeschooled as well, suffered through a bullying incident and came home crying, and begging to be taken out of the public school. The mom wanted advice on what she should do.

The scenario reminded me of another from my own home state a couple of years ago. A 12-year-old boy texted his dad from inside a bathroom stall in his middle school in Bartlesville, Oklahoma. The text read, “Just get me out of this school.” 

The boy’s parents had been in contact with the school over the bullying that the boy said took place every single day. He said not a day went by that he wasn’t called horrible names, pushed, punched, or had milk dumped in his backpack. Finally, after suffering a beating from five other boys outside the school building, the child had enough.

 

Echoes of other children

Mitchell Wilson, age 11, from Canada begged his family to homeschool him after being tormented for years. Wilson, who had Muscular Dystrophy and could not escape his bullies, said he would rather die than go back to his school. 

Just weeks later, Ashlynn Conner, a 10-year-old honor student from Illinois, begged her parents to homeschool her because of the bullying she faced at school.

These cases and too many others are haunting, because the children begged their parents for help, essentially saying the same thing as the young boy in Bartlesville and the little boy whose mother was asking for help on Facebook. 

Just get me out of this school!  

They begged their families to do the one thing that would make their life tolerable, and their parents said no. Forced to face returning to school, the kids chose to end their own lives rather than be bullied one more day.

Options available to parents

If your child is being bullied so badly that they are begging to be taken out of their school, you owe it to them to explore your options. And there are options. If you live in a large district, you can insist that your child be transferred to another school for their protection. You may have to get a lawyer to make it happen if the district does not allow open transfers, but it is possible. You may also be able to have your child enrolled in a homebound program where a tutor from the district comes to your house and teaches your child at home.

In many states, you have the right to pull your child out of school for any reason. You can choose to homeschool your child or send them to a private school. Even if you have to jump through bureaucratic hoops to get your child removed from their school, it is better than seeing them die.

Hopes for the future

People are becoming more aware of the effects of bullying, but the hopes for the future may not be enough to save your child today. The parents of the Bartlesville victim filed a police report after their son was attacked and said that they want teachers to pay more attention to what is going on in school.  

The day may come that anti-bullying policies actually do something to stop the torment that many children suffer, but if it is happening to your child, don’t wait for that day to come. It may be too late. If your bullied child desperately wants out, help them! Exercise your options and get them out.

I suck at drawing! Or maybe I just thought I did...

I can't tell you how many times I have said that line. "I suck at drawing!" Most of my life, I have been frustrated, because the things I wanted to draw didn't come out looking like they did in my head. And I hated that.

But recently, after watching a video by The Virtual Instructor on YouTube, where he slowly and systematically demonstrated how to draw a realistic eye, it occurred to me that if I want my kids to bravely try things, and not give up after a few failed attempts - you know, if I didn't want to hear them say, "I suck at that!" - I needed to lead by example.

So, I asked my older daughter if I could borrow the oil pastels she'd gotten for Christmas last year, and we sat down with a coffee table book about animals and a few sheets of black construction paper.

Now, my drawings are usually so bad, so flat and non-lifelike, so honestly pathetic that I gave up on ever pursuing art as any sort of hobby or pastime years ago. But going slowly, and just trying to put down on the paper the colors I saw in my reference photo, like the instructor in the YouTube video suggested, my drawing began to look pretty cool. Not bad at all for a first attempt at drawing with oil pastels, even if poor Quasimodo's right eye is oddly over sized.

Okay, so maybe I don't suck at drawing. Maybe I just never had a good teacher before, and maybe I never gave it a proper chance. But I am pretty thrilled with my frog, and I am anxious to try drawing again, and to watch more of The Virtual Instructor's videos! And if this experience helps to encourage my kids to try more things, even things they think they suck at, well, that's the best part of all.

Why virtual public school is not legally considered homeschooling

It's amazing how far the homeschooling community has come in understanding this issue in the couple of years since I first published this article on Yahoo! Back then, homeschoolers who dared to insist that virtual public school was not homeschooling were shouted down in online forums, and I was actually threatened for spreading the message that the term "homeschool" should be guarded and reserved only for true homeschoolers.

Today, when someone in an online homeschool group posts that they are using K12, Connections, Epic or other virtual public school programs, they are immediately reminded, usually by several people, that what they are doing is not really homeschool, and that they have other options.

I am thrilled to see the homeschooling community defending the term "homeschool" for use only as applicable to legal homeschooling, and not to public school at home. For those new to either homeschooling or virtual public school, here's why the proper terminology is so important.

Homeschool support is all about changing lives

Good Sunday morning, readers! Today, I would like to share some good news and some gratitude.

I've been one of the leaders of my local homeschool group since it was founded, nearly five years ago. And although I have interacted with scores of homeschoolers, and helped dozens of families begin their homeschooling journey in those years, the magnitude of what I've been helping to do as a volunteer didn't truly hit me until recently.

Recently, I realized that I have perhaps not been as thankful as I should have been for the work that God has done through our little group in northeastern Oklahoma, and for the good things He has allowed me to witness through His grace.

You see, homeschool support really is all about changing lives. Becoming a homeschooling family isn't always an easy step. Just making the decision to take full responsibility for your child's education, then getting through the adjustment period of those first months is hard. But with the right support, homeschooling can completely transform your family in some pretty fantastic ways!

Amazing life changes

Some of the changes I have seen in the lives of the homeschoolers I know have been nothing short of amazing:

A little boy who often cried because he was bullied and had no friends at school now greets friends of all ages enthusiastically with hugs and high fives and looks forward to getting together to learn and play.

A mother who felt isolated and alone, homeschooling her child with medical issues, now feels connected and empowered as she and her daughter make new friends.

Kids who were lost in the the cracks in public school, falling behind academically or bored to the point of distraction in the classroom, are able to learn at their own pace and indulge their interests at home.

The role of a support

Homeschool groups, and especially leaders, are vitally important to the success of many homeschooling families. As someone who has been part of the support network for many families on the local level, and who has relied just as much on the care and support of others, I have seen what a difference caring, acceptance and encouragement can make.

I've also seen how damaging bad leadership within a homeschool community can be. In my own personal growth as a support leader, I know I have sometimes put my trust in the wrong places and made mistakes that I can't go back and change, but I have learned valuable lessons.

Our efforts, magnified

An unexpected situation forced me to really take stock of my own role as a leader in my local homeschooling community this summer. When I did, I realized that the role of a homeschool support leader is much akin to a ministry, reaching out to others to help effect a positive change in their lives. I also realized that with God's help, I could be a much better, more effective and more loving leader than I could ever hope to be on my own.

Leaning on God, and trying to follow His guidance rather than acquiescing to others, I started to see wonderful changes, not just in my homeschool group, but in my own family. My kids were happier than they'd ever been, our school schedule ran more smoothly than it had in months, and good people started to surround me and lift me up.

Our local group began to blossom like never before. We grew to nearly double our previous size in a matter of weeks and welcomed new families whose lives were a testimony to the good work God was accomplishing through our members. Other area groups began working cooperatively with ours and the number of expected attendees at our upcoming events climbed to unprecedented numbers.

Yes, our efforts at outreach and support seem to be magnified as we work to honor God rather than to satisfy others. So it is with gratitude that I acknowledge the strongest support any homeschooling family could hope to have, and with sincerity that I hope to keep putting His will first as I continue to work to support other homeschoolers locally and around the world.

How my kids reacted to a night time fire drill may save your family's life

Yes, I am the Unplanned Homeschooler, but when it comes to fire safety, I believe strongly in planning ahead. In fact, there may be nothing more likely to save your family's lives in the case of an emergency than having a good plan and running enough drills so that everyone knows what to do automatically.

That's why I would like to recommend to each and every one of my readers, please schedule a night time fire drill for your family. You never know how your kids will actually react to a fire alarm when they are sleeping until you see the results for yourself. I did, and it was terrifying.

I thought my kids knew what to do

If you think your kids know what to do in case of an emergency, you are not alone. I thought so, too, until last year. I’d gone over lots of scenarios with them, from fires and tornadoes to injuries and intruders, and I really thought they knew what to do if an emergency should arise.

One emergency situation we'd talked about at length, but not actually practiced how to address was a fire at night. I did some research on fire drills, and found the Home Fire Drill website, with videos of how children really reacted to night time fire drills. The videos were frightening. Some children slept right through the alarms of the smoke detector, and others failed to do what they were taught in daytime drills.

Still, I was confident that my own children would do better in a night time fire drill than the kids in the videos.

Night time drills are a must

I had done more than a lot of parents to prepare my children for a fire, primarily because we live in a split level home and the kids’ bedrooms do not have windows. Their avenues of escape are limited, so it's even more important that they know what to do in case of a fire. Also, my grandmother died in a fire when I was ten years old, so I have always taken fire safety very seriously. 

I thought that running through fire scenarios, planning escape routes and learning safety procedures from the fire department would be enough. We discussed our safety plan regularly, and updated it as the children grew older.  Unfortunately, I learned last night all the daytime preparation in the world is no substitute for a night time drill, performed after your children have been asleep for a while.

Results of our fire drill

I had to suppress the giggles as I sneaked downstairs to set off the smoke alarm. I thought for sure my twins would come running out of their rooms in confusion, but then quickly remember the fire escape plan. My amusement quickly faded as the smoke alarm blared and neither child made a sound. Approximately 30 seconds went by before my daughter moaned incoherently.

  

Several more seconds went by as my daughter whined, “Turn in off,” in a mumbling voice about half a dozen times. A fear settled like a stone in my stomach as I imagined what would happen in the case of a real fire. Finally, my daughter called out in a sleepy cry for her brother. When he heard her say his name, he immediately jumped out of bed.

By then, it had been more than a full minute since the alarm started. In a real fire, you may have only a couple of minutes to escape.

My son saw me in the hall between their rooms and asked what was going on. I said, “Fire! Get out!” He acted very confused and just stood still. I said again, “Fire! Get your sister and get out!” Had the danger been real, he would not have had those verbal instructions.

My son went into my daughter’s room, but neither of them came out until I yelled one more time, “Get out! Fire!” Finally they came stumbling out of the room, neither of them ducking low to avoid smoke inhalation. They went up the stairs instead of out the back door, the planned route to safety we had so often discussed.
  

My children would have likely died

According to the Home Fire Drill website, approximately 50 percent of people who die in fires were actively trying to escape. But in a real fire, you have only two or three minutes to exit the house before you die. If my children reacted to a real fire as they did in the drill, they would have definitely died.  

This reality scares me, but it also motivates me to hold more fire drills while the kids are asleep, until their subconscious mind is trained to react to the sound of the smoke alarm and they know instinctively what to do.

  

Please take my family's experience to heart if you have children. Hold a fire drill of your own, a couple of hours after your children go to bed when they are most likely to be in a state of deep sleep. If your kids need improvement, give them the chance to learn the right responses before a real emergency occurs. And share this information with other families you know. It just might save their lives.   

To doodle or not to doodle?

This week, I followed a discussion on Facebook about kids doodling on their homework. Some homeschooling moms strictly prohibited the practice, while others thought it was just fine, and most agreed that a little doodling doesn't hurt anything as long as it doesn't cover up the student's work.

I love that most of the worksheets my kids have done over the years have plenty of extra white space. I've found miscellaneous doodles, poems, jokes and sometimes even carefully thought out scenes that traverse the whole page. Those extra marks on the page never failed to make me smile, as they revealed my kids' personalities, their creativity, and their budding senses of humor. 

Now that my twins are in middle school, when I look back at their binders of elementary school work, I couldn't care less about seeing 8+4=12. But I LOVE seeing my daughter's evolving skill at drawing animals, my son's amazing superhero adventures, and both of their fascinations with goofy jokes. 

Doodling is good for your brain!

Some of the moms in the Facebook discussion recommended a TED Talk, by Sunni Brown, who purports that doodling is a powerful tool to help boost your learning power. This article in Psychology Today expands on the video, explaining Brown's research and going into greater detail about exactly how doodling can improve memory and help students retain more information as they work.

Many homeschoolers already incorporate music and movement into their routine, to help auditory and kinesthetic learners better absorb the material they are trying to master. Why not allow doodles, too?

A time and place for neatness 

I appreciate a sharp presentation, with crisp margins and clean lines. There is definitely a time and place for neatness, and students do need to learn how to put together a clean report and how not to doodle all over an important test. But worksheets are for practice, not for show. They're a scant step up from whiteboards and dry erase markers, in that once the material is learned, they are completely disposable and irrelevant.

By constricting the free and spontaneous flow of creativity that may be expressed in the white spaces of children's worksheets, parents may be missing out on some of the best memories of their children's development they could hope to capture.

Or at least a great laugh at the their child's visual joke about stinky feet and poot clouds!

Oh, hey! One more thing... if you want a great deal on some awesome art curriculum for your kids, act fast. This sale ends soon.

Model plane enthusiasts hope to help young flyers take off

The 13th Annual Hatbox Field Memorial Fly-In is coming up October 10 and 11, 2014. This event, hosted by the Three Rivers Area Model Plane Society, draws in model plane enthusiasts from several states, and features all sorts of remote controlled aircraft, including planes, helicopters, an even giant planes with wingspans of more than 10 feet!

A while back, my kids had a chance to see a smaller exhibition of model airplanes in flight. They thought these replica planes were awesome. I thought likewise of the pilots, who had the planes doing loops and dives that would rival what we had seen at an air show. I took the chance after the show to interview a couple of the pilots about how folks could get started with the exciting hobby of building and flying model airplanes.

Don't try to duplicate public school at home

There are so many new homeschoolers this year, more than I have ever seen before! And of course, all the newbies are looking for some advice to help them get started in the right direction. The absolute best piece of advice the Unplanned Homeschooler can give is this: Don’t try to duplicate school at home. 

As a new homeschooler five years ago, I didn’t know exactly what the veteran homeschoolers I met meant when they issued this warning, but I soon learned. 

This sort of cluttered classroom environment is probably not best for your kids.

I grew up in public school, and my own kids started out there. The public school classroom was the only model of elementary education I had to work from, and while it may be the acceptable standard for simultaneously teaching 20 or more children of the same grade level, it’s not the ideal for most homeschooling families. 

Fortunately, there are a few easy solutions that can turn the public school experience you probably remember from your own childhood into a homeschool environment much more conducive to educating your children one-on-one.

Planning a Not Back to School Party

As we begin our sixth year of homeschooling, I'm so excited because my twins are full fledged middle schoolers now, going into seventh grade as it were, and their homeschool group is thriving like never before. This year, we're even adding an overnight campout to our annual Not Back to School party.

What's a Not Back to School party? Why, it's just about the best way possible for a group of homeschoolers to celebrate the beginning of a new year of learning together. Although many homeschoolers follow different schedules than the public schools, it is impossible to escape the fact that August means back to school for most of the nation's kids.

My son and friends playing games at our first Not Back to School party.

The time of year can leave some homeschoolers feeling a little left out, and even though they don't want to leave summer behind and head into a classroom with their peers, it's still great to celebrate the beginning of a year full of new learning adventures with their friends.

How to plan a Not Back to School party

If you belong to a homeschool group, or just have a few homeschooling friends who enjoy getting together occasionally, planning a Not Back to School party will be a snap. First, you want to make it a fun event, so try to find a location where your kids can play and have a good time, like a playground, splash pad, swimming pool, bowling alley, etc.

Next, make sure you have plenty of food on hand, because kids get hungry when they play hard. You can arrange with other parents to all bring snacks to share, or perhaps contact a local pizza place and ask for a discount.

Opt for a new adventure

If you are part of a larger group, especially one that has done a few Not Back to School parties in the past, consider ramping things up a notch this year. Add a new adventure, something the kids have never done together before, to create a more memorable experience.

As I mentioned above, my own group decided to take our annual Not Back to School party to the next level by camping overnight at an area lake instead of just meeting for the afternoon at a local park. The kids will still be able to play on a playground, enjoy a picnic, and do some hiking like they did in years past, but this year there will be so much more to do, and more time to do it.

Not the camping types? You can still add more adventure to your annual party by incorporating an exciting activity the kids haven't tried before, or maybe going to a brand new location. Use your imagination and give the kids an experience they would not be likely to get in school.

Setting the tone for the year

Your Not Back to School party is about more than just showing your kids a good time. It's about setting the tone for the coming year. Whether this is your first year homeschooling or your 21st, starting the year with a fun and exciting new experience is sure to stoke everyone's enthusiasm, so don't hesitate to make your party the best it can be.

An exciting alternative to the postcard exchange

I've seen a lot of buzz lately about postcard swaps. The idea is to find other homeschoolers from around the country, ideally one in every state, and set up an exchange, so that each child in the group gets postcards from all the other states and learns a little bit about history and geography along the way.

The idea of a postcard swap sounds neat. Kids love getting mail, and postcards from all around the country could spur a lot of interest in learning about our great states. But organizing a swap can get complicated, especially when trying to exchange addresses and other personal information with strangers you've met online. Parents want to be safe, after all.

I figured out another way to fill our mailbox with educational materials from every state, and it was easy and free to do. A few years ago, when I wanted to spark my children's interest in U.S. geography and help them learn more about the 50 states, I sent requests to the state travel and tourism offices in every state to request maps and tourism guides for our family.

Three years ago, I looked up state travel and tourism offices individually, just doing a search by state names. But another homeschooling mom showed me a site that has links for all 50 states conveniently compiled together, so the hard part is done for you.

Some states offered many more resources than just travel guides, free for the asking, including brochures about historic landmarks and battlefields, maps of specific areas of the state, and more. Before long, we had in our hands full color books, from every state, full of information about major cities, state history, natural resources, sports and entertainment, and all sorts of cultural treasures.

So, if you are a little wary about participating in a postcard exchange with folks you don't know, or if you happened to miss out on the sign up, consider this alternative. It might be the perfect way to request educational mail for your child, and to stock up on valuable educational materials like full sized state maps. Who knows, you might even find a great place to take a family vacation!

Back to school science kits to consider

School funding for science and other subjects, especially at the elementary school level, has sharply decreased over recent years as more focus has been placed on math and reading. But that doesn’t mean your students have to miss out on great learning experiences.  

Whether you are a classroom teacher, a home educator or simply a parent who wishes to supplement your child’s education at home, you may be interested in picking up some science kits for back to school.

Here are a few favorites for you to check out.

Live animals

You can order science kits that allow you to hatch butterflies, frogs, chickens and more. Bird eggs, like chickens and quail, require an incubator. This can be a little pricey for a single use, but if you have a classroom or a homeschool group that could use the incubator over and over, it’s definitely worth the cost. Frog hatcheries and butterfly hatcheries are a lot less expensive, and can be reused with new orders of eggs or you can find eggs or larvae in the wild. 

Dissection kits

If your student is interested in the inner workings of the body, there is no better way to get an understanding of anatomy and physiology than through a firsthand look. You can get a variety of small animals, including a frog, a fish, several invertebrates and even a fetal pig, complete with a dissection kit and instructions for less than $50. That’s enough for weeks and weeks of lab work and will give your student a look at a wide variety of animal organs and structures. Single animal kits are significantly less expensive.

Rocket science

If your students would like to learn about rockets, you have to check out Estes. This company makes a huge variety of customizable rockets available at hobby stores and online. Better yet, they provide lesson plans in information for students and teachers on their website for free. You only need one launch kit, which you can get for under $20 complete with a rocket. Many additional rockets can be purchased for under $10 apiece.  

Chemistry

There are so many chemistry kits available, or you can basically build your own by purchasing individual chemicals and pieces of lab equipment. If you are purchasing a chemistry kit for younger students, make sure it has enough materials to do several experiments. I recommend kits that allow you to make slime, grow crystals, and study a variety of scientific concepts.

Microbiology

Kits are available to study the bacteria and fungi in the world around you on a basic level or in a more advanced way. If you already own a microscope, you can get started studying microbiology for less than $30, with enough supplies for a whole classroom or for a few students to do a larger experiment. Home Science Tools offers free experiment ideas on their website for everyday science or even for science fairs.

Silver linings are the gift of a grateful heart

July was one of the most dramatic months I've experienced in a while. So much happened in such a short amount of time. And while much of what happened around our household in July was bad, still, I can see so much good.

You see, those silver linings around life's dark clouds are something I look for continually. I know they are the gift of a grateful heart, and if you focus on what blessings you have, rather than your hurts, you'll start to see them, too.

Let me give you a few examples from my own roller coaster of a month:

I lost my job

At the beginning of July, Yahoo shut down the site I wrote for and eliminated most of my personal income, so essentially, I lost my job. As a stay-at-home, homeschooling mom of three, my job options are pretty limited, but I had done well supplementing our household income as a freelance writer. Unfortunately, there are few reputable companies left that pay for the type of writing I was doing at Yahoo, and many writers vying for those jobs.

But, looking at the silver lining, I got the rights back to almost all the work I had done for Yahoo over the past couple of years, which meant I could use my work in a new way. I built a couple of blogs, and I am working on a book. New doors are opening, and that's exciting!

Table etiquette for homeschoolers

My parents tell me that public schools used to teach etiquette and manners as part of a student's elementary education. They say that teachers used to sit with students at lunch time and instruct them on proper table manners, correcting them as needed, so the children grew up at least knowing the basics of table etiquette.

But that wasn't my experience in school, and it definitely wasn't my children's experience when they entered public school a few years ago. With the uproarious clamor of an overcrowded cafeteria, and just minutes to spend at the table, my children's lunch period was overwhelming. The staff on duty had all they could handle just ushering kids in an out the doors and making sure no one was throwing food.

Thankfully homeschooling allows us to enjoy a much more relaxed and calm midday meal, where the kids have plenty of time to eat their lunch and it's relatively peaceful and quiet. But the table manners I try to instill in my children are, admittedly, short of the etiquette that may be expected at a formal dinner or an important business luncheon when they get older.

As much as I love the look of a formal table setting, our meals are decidedly informal. We don't set out more plates or silverware than we need, we usually eat our salad with the same fork as the rest of our dinner, and no one ever gets more than one glass or cup. Like many families in today's busy world, we often eat on the go, or even on TV trays while we watch a movie together.

Honestly, I'm concerned that my kids have had few opportunities to learn the higher level table etiquette they may need to make a good impression on future employers.

But I'm a homeschooler, and that means I can teach my kids anything I want as part of their basic education. I know there are resources that we, as homeschooling parents, can use to instruct our kids, and perhaps even ourselves, in the best of proper table etiquette before our youngsters grow up and leave the nest.

I'm fortunate to be friends with etiquette expert and fellow writer, Rebecca Black, who has written many books and articles. She knows all about proper manners for every situation, and writes in such a helpful way that she makes it a pleasure to learn. I'm excited to see that she has published a new book, "Dining Etiquette: Essential Guide for Table Manners, Business Meals, Sushi, Wine and Tea Etiquette," which would be a perfect resource for teaching homeschooled teens and pre-teens everything they need to know about table etiquette before they go to college or begin careers.

I'm looking forward to checking out this book, and perhaps staging practice dinners with my own kids, so that they are better acquainted with all the rules of etiquette they will need to flourish in any dining experience.

If you don't send your kids to public school, you're a bad guy?

A controversial article from Slate made the rounds on social media about this time last year. The title says it all. "If you send your kids to private school, you are a bad person." It's not the first time a Slate writer stirred things up with an inflammatory article bashing parents who opt for something other than public school. In 2012, the hot button title was, "Liberals, don't homeschool your kids."

Both of these articles had the same general premise. Parents, especially educated and affluent parents, have a responsibility to the community at large to send their children to public school. Those who choose to do otherwise, by either sending their kids to private school or homeschooling, are cheating the public school kids out of their involvement and influence.

These authors acknowledge that public schools in many instances are broken, and that it might take generations of involved parents to get them back on track, but they insist that parents should make the sacrifice, foregoing the benefits of an alternative education, in order to eventually improve public schools for all.

As a parent, I balk at the notion of sacrificing my children's education, their happiness, and even their safety in pursuit of a collective social good that may never be obtained.

If public schools might be compared to swimming pools, many today are choked with crud. You have everything from predators on the faculty, academic scandals in the classrooms and bullies in the hallways. What the Slate writers insist is that the slime in the schools could be cleared away if parents didn't pull their kids out of public school and choose other alternatives. But kids aren't magical filters that can change a system that has been decades in the making. Leaving your kids in a cruddy school only guarantees one thing - they will come home covered in the same grime they've been swimming in every day.

We chose to homeschool because we believed it was the best option for our kids. We sacrificed my income so that we could provide our kids with an alternative education that is individualized and helps them reach their potential. Making the best choice possible for our own children doesn't make us bad people.

Why didn't we stick with the public schools and devote our time and energy to making them better? Don't we care about kids stuck in failing public schools? Certainly! Do we have the power to effect change on behalf of those children? Unfortunately, to a large extent the answer is no.

Because as I see it, public education in America is no longer a local entity that can be changed with the involvement of caring and dedicated parents and teachers. I see public education as a giant, run by corporations, unions and government officials. And the chance of changing anything, from the number of standardized tests kids take to the time they have at the lunch table, is virtually nonexistent, at least in the short time that my kids will still be kids.

So I do what's best for mine, and I hope you can do what's best for yours. And together we can vote for officials who will try to put control of the schools back in the local communities, back where parents and teachers really can make a difference.

Go ahead, get your homeschooler a backpack

It's almost time for back-to-school, and even though you are very happy with your decision to homeschool instead of sending your little one off to kindergarten, your child may still be expressing a desire to go to public school with the other neighborhood kids.

It's no wonder, really. Kids are inundated with the same back-to-school ads we see. The children's section of the library is full of books about so-and-so's first day of school. And those big, yellow school buses are truly fascinating if you've never been stuck on one for an hour with no air conditioning in the middle of August. 

But when parents stop and ask their preschool or kindergarten age kids what it is about school that they desire the most, often the answer is surprising and simple. They just want a cool lunchbox or a backpack like the ones they've seen in the stores!

My twins on the first day of kindergarten.

My twins went to kindergarten in public school. They got new backpacks and they both picked out a brand new lunchbox to take to school on the first day. My son picked Spiderman, and my daughter chose Disney princesses. I probably wouldn't have bought them lunchboxes if we'd started out homeschooling, but the backpacks have come in very handy over the years.

My kids have used backpacks to take books and crayons to doctors appointments, to carry clothes and toys on overnight trips to their grandparents' house, to use as carry on bags on airplanes, to store treasures in at home, and much more. 

You might not think your child needs a backpack, since they'll be homeschooled. But chances are, you'll find plenty of opportunities for them to use a backpack, and because they won't be dragging it around every day, it will likely last them for several years. If a backpack makes them feel more like they are doing "real" school, by all means, go ahead and get them one and fill it up with this year's crayons, pencils and other supplies. I promise, you won't regret it.

How homeschooling helps save big on school supplies

When I first started homeschooling, I really didn't know what supplies I would need to buy for my kids. As an unplanned homeschooler, I was jumping out of public school and into homeschooling knowing I would have to learn as I went along.

I had been spending between about $85 and $150 per child for the supplies on the teachers' lists when my kids were in public school. I knew homeschooling would save us money on the standard school supplies, but over the first few years, I was shocked at just how little we ended up spending. This year, I expect to spend less than $100 on all three kids combined, excluding some special art supplies my older daughter wants for her birthday.

Here are just a few tips that have saved my family money on homeschool supplies over the years.

Pandas on a playground. How cool is that?

Oh, you guys! Today's unplanned adventure started with a video I saw on a friend's Facebook page. It featured young pandas playing on a wooden slide. Pandas on playground equipment, people! I don't think it gets much cuter than that.

Of course, I wasn't satisfied to just watch the video over and over and grin ear to ear. I needed to know where these adorable pandas lived, and what exactly was up with the panda playground. I found the original video on YouTube, and discovered that the young pandas were part of the Chengdu Research Base of Giant Panda Breeding in China.

This one of a kind research center gives researchers a chance to study the giant pandas native to China, and to help in the effort to conserve the species. There are tons of educational resources on the site, perfect for anyone who loves pandas, and even live 24 hour high definition webcams where you can watch and listen to the Chengdu pandas from anywhere in the world!

Today's venture into the world of the Chengdu pandas was definitely an unplanned stop, but sometimes those are the very best learning adventures of all!

Happy as a cow in the summer rain

You couldn't ask for better weather than we've had this week in Oklahoma. It's mid-July, but our temperatures are hovering in the 70s and low 80s and we're enjoying a nice steady rain. I couldn't think of a better time to be a cow.

Today, my kids and I had to go to Tulsa to pick up my youngest daughter's glasses and get the estimate done on our van after the collision I wrote about last week. Along the way, we passed pasture after pasture full of happy, happy cows.

And why wouldn't they be happy? It's nice and cool, the rain is coming down just steadily enough to keep the biting flies at bay, and there's an abundance of tender, green grass growing where the hay was cut and baled over the last couple of weeks.

Next week, some of the members of my homeschool group will be taking a field trip to a local ranch to visit cows and learn more about farming. The field trip reminds me of my daughter's third birthday, when her only wish was to "pet a baby cow."

Farms make wonderful destinations for field trips, especially when there are new babies to see. Have your kids had a memorable experience on a farm? I'd love to hear about it!

Review of "Lizards: Research and Activity Guide" by Fran Wisniewski

I love lizards. I've always been fascinated by them. I like the sleek and shiny ones best, the ones that you're apt to find darting along a path or from rock to rock in your garden. They almost look wet, their scales glisten so beautifully in the sun. But I like the rough, bumpy, knobby lizards, too. I think they're all amazing creatures.

That's why I was so excited to receive a copy of "Lizards: Research and Activity Guide" from my friend and fellow homeschooling writer, Fran Wisniewski for my kids to use this year.

As a wildlife biologist, in my life before kids, I read a lot of books about different types of animals. I studied everything just about everything in varying depth, including insects, birds, mammals, reptiles and amphibians and even fish. So, when I was offered a copy of the 70 page "Lizards" guide for my kids, I had a notion what I'd receive.

I expected a book that gave an overview of lizards, followed by sections made up of different types of lizards, sorted either by region or by body types, with several pages of specific examples for each category.

What I got was so much more. This research guide is actually written in such a way that a student could use it to study one specific species or learn about all the lizards of the world. It focuses on lizard anatomy, with questions which lead students to search for the answers online or in books.

With questions such as, "What parts make up the digestive system of a lizard?" students discover some of the basics of lizard anatomy and physiology, but are also likely to find themselves researching more specific questions that they come up with on their own, like, "What does the lizard in my garden like to eat?" or "How often do lizards poop?"

You know your kids would want to know!

The "Lizards" guide provides lots of resources where students can find information about lizards in general and about their favorite species. Wisniewski also provides plenty of suggestions for field trips and other activities, and even includes printable games and graphics you can use to make your own worksheets and cards.

If you have a child who loves lizards, you'll want to check out this very reasonably priced resource. Pick up your own copy of "Lizards: Research and Activity Guide" on Fran's World of Discovery and start learning today!

Disclosure: My copy of this research guide was a gift, without any agreement to write a review, but I liked it a lot, so I'm sharing with my readers!

How to withdraw from public school

So, you've decided to homeschool. That's great! One of the first things you may need to do is withdraw your child from public school. How you do this depends on where you live. Each state has its own regulations and requirements for homeschoolers.

Withdrawing from public school may be as easy as turning in your child's books and walking out the door. But you may have to fill out state forms or even get approval of your education plan from the local school district in order to begin.

Take a look at the map above. The states colored green are the least restrictive. Notice of intent to homeschool is not required in these states. However, if your child is already enrolled in public school, the statewide homeschool organizations in most of these states suggest that you submit a short withdrawal letter, just to avoid any problems with truancy accusations.

You can find links to sample withdrawal letters, state mandated forms and instructions to help you begin homeschooling legally in every state at the links provided below.

Turning bad moments into valuable lessons

Today's unplanned adventure wasn't any fun at all. It all started with a hot summer afternoon and a trip to the local Sonic Drive In to get some big, icy happy hour drinks for me and the kids.

As I pulled into Sonic's U-shaped drive, I came up behind a pickup truck that had pulled out, moved forward, and then come to a stop. I waited as they sat there, not moving, and cars began to line up behind me. Then, suddenly, the driver in front of me put her truck in reverse and started coming back. I honked repeatedly, and my kids and I screamed out the window, but she just kept coming. CRUNCH!

Truck's bumper smashed several inches into the front of my van.

My poor van. I got out of the van, took a picture of the collision and the other driver's license plate, and asked for the other driver's insurance information. Then I called the local police department and asked the other driver to pull around to a parking space and wait for them to arrive.

Lots of lessons to be learned

It's no fun to be in an accident, but at least this was a low impact collision that took place at a slow enough speed the air bags did not deploy. No one appeared to be hurt, and for that, I was immediately grateful.  

Since my kids were with me, we talked about what was going on as things happened. I told them that it was important to exchange insurance information immediately and document the damage if possible. We also talked about how the officer who arrived on the scene was there to help.

After we got home, I explained to them how our insurance policy works, and how the other driver's policy should cover the accident since they were responsible for the collision. I showed them the police report, and explained how I would contact my own insurance company first and proceed from there, possibly contacting the other driver's insurance company as well.

We talked about why it is always important to carry your insurance verification in your car, and what happens if the other driver is not insured. 

More lessons to come

Like a set of real life word problems, there will be lots of math to be figured in calculating the settlement of this claim. There will also be opportunities to read and understand forms and paperwork. And these will be memorable lessons, because they are tied to the vivid memory of an out of the ordinary experience.

When something bad, like a minor car accident, happens to your family, don't forget to look at the potential for learning. Nothing will help set a lesson firmly in your children's long term memory like being tied to an extraordinary experience, either good or bad, so use the experience however you can to help further your kids' education.   

Another unplanned adventure: New glasses!

Life is one big unplanned adventure, isn't it? At least, it seems that way raising three kids. Today's adventure took us to the eye doctor, where my youngest was prescribed her first pair of glasses.

My older daughter had been having some trouble with her distance vision for a while. We first noticed it in the late fall, but since she was in the middle of a rapid growth spurt, we put off her eye exam until the spring. After all, we're homeschoolers. It's not like we can't get her a seat closer to the whiteboard.

Puberty is a time of big physiological changes, and as your head changes shape, so can your eyes. Lots of kids experience vision changes in puberty, and their prescription can change rapidly as they grow. But after a few months of weed-like growth, my daughter's spurt seemed to stabilize, so we got her appointment scheduled with the eye doctor, where she was prescribed glasses of her own.

She was very happy with her new glasses, of course, because now she can see again! My son and younger daughter's eye appointments were scheduled for a bit later, because the office was very busy, but I figured that was okay, since they weren't showing any signs of problems.

Imagine my surprise when it turned out my 6-year-old could see well, but only with her left eye. Her right eye, according to the doctor, is lagging a bit behind in development, so she'll need glasses for at least the next year to help out. The doctor said this is a problem not uncommon to preemies who were born small like she was.

So, back we'll go to pick up glasses for her in a few days. They're pink. And sparkly. And, although unplanned, they're going to be totally cute!

What are my state's homeschooling laws?

If you're new to homeschooling, you might be wondering what the legal requirements are in your state. Homeschooling laws vary from state to state, with some being very relaxed and others requiring homeschoolers to submit to all sorts of oversight and regulation.

One of the easiest ways to learn about your state's homeschooling laws is to visit the website for your statewide homeschool support group. Statewide homeschool groups are not only the first to alert members about proposed laws, but they also work to actively inform legislators about homeschool issues and to rally opposition against bad legislation.

Another way to inform yourself about your state's laws, or to learn about regulations in other states is to visit HSLDA, the Home School Legal Defense Association, where current laws and proposed legislation for each state are analyzed in detail. It may be a good idea to join both your statewide group and HSLDA to stay up-to-date on proposed changes to existing laws and to give yourself some protection, especially if you live in a more highly regulated state.

For your convenience, you can also click the the name of your state below to go directly to its legal page from HSLDA. They are grouped according to the level of regulation you can expect to face, with those under the green heading being least restrictive, and those under the red heading the most regulated.

Bacon sandwiches and sappy TV make for a perfect girls' day

My husband took our son out fishing this weekend. We're not into fishing, even though I used to teach kids how to fish when I was working as a naturalist, but it's something our son really wanted to try. More than that, it was something he insisted he wanted to do with his dad.

So, my husband pulled the rod and reel his dad had passed down to him out of the back of his closet, bought some new tackle and supplies, and the two of them loaded up the car. Our youngest daughter didn't want to be left out, so she tagged along and they made a quick stop at the store to pick up a kid sized rod and reel for her, too.

That left just me and our older daughter at home alone all afternoon.

Bring on the BACON!

I knew exactly what I wanted to do. First, we'd have lunch. I made my favorite sandwiches in the whole world - BLTs. This time, they were extra good, though, because with just the two of us at home, and a whole pound of bacon to share, our sandwiches were colossal!

While we ate our bacon sandwiches, we watched part of the first season of "7th Heaven" on Hulu Plus. My daughter had never seen the show. She liked it.

The first episode featured a story line in which Lucy, the 12-year-old middle child, was dealing with the ups and downs of puberty. I found myself glancing over at my own 12-year-old daughter, amazed, because the last time I'd seen the first season she wasn't even born, and now, here she was, old enough to relate.

Spending time with the kids individually

Today was one of those awesome days when I got to spend time with just one of my kids, all alone. With three kids and a busy schedule, my husband and I don't get to do that often. It's important to make time for each of the kids, individually, though. They relate to us differently when their siblings aren't around, and they often talk fondly about the special times they spent with one or the other of us on their own.

I know bacon sandwiches and TV might not sound like an adventure, but you don't have to spend a lot of money or plan an extravagant outing to enjoy quality time with your kids. We had a very enjoyable girls' day, just the two of us, and my daughter didn't have to share my attention, or her bacon, with anyone!

Are your homeschool techniques keeping up with technology?

My kids love Minecraft! I do, too. We play together often as a family, and my son researches new tips and techniques on YouTube and other sites to improve our worlds. He's recently talked about wanting to learn coding, so he can work on developing games on his own. I think he should go for it.

A photo from my tutorial on how to easily find diamonds on Minecraft.

Our kids live and learn in a world of advancing technology. They eagerly seek knowledge that is relevant to them, and utilize devices and resources online that most likely pave the way to their future careers. But are we, as their teachers, keeping up?

A warning from the industry

Today I read an article featuring Dylan Collins, the CEO of SuperAwesome, a major children's marketing and research network that analyzes how developments in the digital world effect kids. He said:

"The change we are seeing with kids is the greatest change we’ve seen in a generation of children since the war. This is the generation of kids that is going to change everything. They are going to create. They are going to destroy.

"For the first time in our society’s history, we’re being presented with a generation of kids capable of exceeding our abilities while they are still kids. The reason Minecraft exploded was it allowed kids to create: it gave them the tools and empowered them. As a society, we are woefully under-prepared for this generation, I think.

"Now imagine what that is going to be like in five years time. It will be the new generation of kids, but it’s probably going to be the same teachers. How are we going to deal with that?"

Evolving as educators

It's important that we continually evolve and adapt our methods as teachers. What worked for us a generation ago isn't necessarily what will work best for our kids, and what's best for them today might not be in another year or two.

This year, a bunch of kids in my homeschool group are starting a Minecraft club, with the goal of creating a historically accurate replica of a Civil War era site. I'm volunteering to mentor them, but in truth, they already know more than I do about the technological side of the project, and probably will learn much more as they go.

I'm excited, though, because we'll be using the technology they love in order to study history, geometry, architecture, writing, and more. How are your kids using technology in their educational pursuits? Are you working to keep up?

Learning about fireworks on the 4th of July

I love taking time to learn about things in the moment, and the 4th of July is a perfect time to stop and learn a little bit about fireworks.  Last year, in between lighting smoke bombs and Black Cats in the afternoon and watching a professional fireworks display at night, my family watched some videos about how exactly fireworks work.

It was pretty amazing to learn about how the insides of a shell are packed in just a certain order, and how different types of fuses help control not only the initial explosion, but the secondary bursts in the sky.

This year, we're going to spend a little bit of time on the 4th of July making these cute decorative firecrackers I found on Fran's World of Discovery. They use recycled materials, and look like a perfect activity to do indoors when it gets too hot in the afternoon.

After that, I think we'll check out some of the many informational links on the same page. It will be a great way to have fun and learn more about fireworks all at the same time.

Did bad school lunches really turn us into homeschoolers?

One of the questions I have been asked the most over the years is why I decided to start homeschooling. Of course, there were all the usual reasons, such as giving my kids a better education than I believe they could get in public school, keeping them away from bad influences and bullies, and avoiding having our kids possibly fall through the cracks in overcrowded classrooms. But when my husband and I were weighing the pros and cons of homeschooling, one surprising factor figured heavily in our decision: school lunches.

I know you're probably thinking, yes, school lunches can be pretty disgusting, but can they really be bad enough to make a family choose to homeschool? A lot of kids would say that lunchtime at school is one of the worst parts of their day, but that's just part of growing up, right? 

Unfortunately, as we discovered when our twins were in public school, the problems with lunch in today's schools can actually jeopardize your child's health. That's exactly what was happening to our daughter, and it was becoming a serious problem. What were we going to do?

Making the decision to homeschool

My twins had just finished kindergarten when we made the decision to homeschool the next year. Of course, part of that decision was based on the fact that we'd just moved to a new school district, which was overcrowded. Realizing that our kids would have to go to an elementary school across town instead of the one just blocks from our house, we started thinking about other options.

We had also become very concerned about the fact that our daughter had lost weight over the course of her year in kindergarten. She and her twin brother were born preemies, and she was barely hanging on at about the 10th percentile in weight. It was dangerous for her to go a whole year without putting on at least a few pounds and even her doctor was growing concerned.

What did school lunch have to do with it?

I had tried hard during my twins' kindergarten year to help my daughter get enough healthy nutrition so she could grow. I packed her lunches, and made sure to send along snacks that she would like to eat in the afternoon. That helped to eliminate the yuck factor that was keeping her from eating the school's hot lunches.

But there was little I could do to help with the main problem, which was time. There just wasn't enough time at the lunch table, and what time there was came way too early in the day. 

Because the school had a burgeoning population of students, the kindergarten classes had to eat lunch at 10:45 in the morning. That was too early for most of them to be hungry enough for lunch, and left them starving by the end of the school day.

This problem was compounded by the fact that the kids got just 15 minutes to go through the serving line, find a seat, eat, bus their own tables and get in line for recess. I did not know at the time, but the USDA and many medical groups have recommended for years that students should get at least 20 minutes at the lunch table. Mine were getting less than half that.

Homeschooling made such a difference

Bringing my daughter home made a huge difference in her health. She was able to take her time and finish hearty meals at breakfast and lunchtime. She was also able to go to the kitchen and get a healthy snack whenever she got hungry midmorning or in the afternoon. Her energy levels were higher, and she began to gain a little weight.

We were leaning toward homeschooling anyway, but the problems with school lunches really were a significant part of why we finally made the decision to go for it. Now my twins are teenagers, and they're both healthy, vibrant, and although we hadn't originally planned to go this direction, very happily homeschooled.

Getting ready for the back to school rush

My kids and I are starting our sixth year of homeschooling this month. It's July, and the school supplies are on the shelves already, just waiting to be snatched up in the back to school rush. Pencils, crayons, paper, scissors, binders. Well, if you have kids, you've probably seen the lists. 



But the back to school rush means something entirely different to me. As one of the leaders of a homeschooling group that serves much of northeastern Oklahoma, this is actually one of my busiest times of year. Why? Because as the beginning of a new school year approaches, our homeschool group gets inundated with new members.

Not going back to that school

Sometimes it's because a child has just gotten old enough their parents either have to enroll them in school or find another option.  Other times it's because kids get stuck in a class with an ineffective teacher, or because they know they'll be going back into a bullying situation. Often it's just because the parents have looked into all the alternatives, and they've just decided at last that homeschooling is the best choice for their family. Whatever the reason, we always get a lot of inquiries in July and August.

A commitment to outreach

My co-leader and I feel a responsibility to reach out to new homeschoolers, whether they end up joining our group or not. So the past two school years, we have hosted informational meetings for anyone in our area who is interested in homeschooling. We've invited speakers from OCHEC, our statewide homeschooling organization, and passed along all sorts of information homeschoolers need to get started.

It's not always easy for new homeschoolers to find support, but in the midst of the back to school rush we do our best to help out. If you are a new homeschooler, or just considering homeschooling this year, I encourage you to look for a local group or contact your state organization to connect with others. And if the first group you try is not a good fit, don't give up. Homeschool groups are just about as diverse as the families that join them!