How to turn being ghosted into a positive experience

If you or your kids have not yet been ghosted, I'm sorry to say it is likely to happen. Life is a series of relationships, some lasting forever and others ending, in partings both good and bad. Ghosting is one of the most cowardly and disgusting ways a person can end a relationship, and it is a growing problem in today's society.

Ghosting is one of the more painful experiences a person can endure, whether in a dating relationship or a friendship. I think it can be even more painful when it happens to homeschoolers, because our social circles are often smaller and more closely intertwined. So if it happens to you or your child, how can you possibly turn being ghosted into a positive experience?

As I am sure most of you already know, ghosting is the act of pretending someone you had a relationship with no longer exists. Texts and messages are left unanswered, calls are ignored, and the rudest of ghosters may even turn their back and pretend not to see their former companion when they run into each other in public. 

All of this happens with no explanation, too often leaving the ghosted party feeling confused, insecure and betrayed. It's okay. Those are pretty normal reactions to being ghosted. It's what you do after the shock wears off that determines whether the whole situation will turn out to be a positive experience for you.

You can't prevent someone from ghosting you or your kids, but you can grow, you can become a stronger person and you can use what you learn to form better relationships with others in the future. Here are some ways you can turn being ghosted into a positive experience after it is all said and done.

What to take with you to the PSAT

Is your child taking the PSAT this year? You'd better double check the list of required items, so they will be prepared. Here's what to take with you on testing day.

The proper photo ID

Last year, as my twins were getting ready to take their practice run at the PSAT, I suddenly realized they did not have the proper ID as required by the College Board. Since they were taking the test early, ahead of their junior year, neither of them had a driver's license or learner's permit yet, and we'd never had an occasion to get them a passport.

The College Board requires a government-issued photo ID in order to take the test. The homeschool identification cards many families use will not work, nor will their Social Security cards or even their birth certificates. There is a form on the site you can use in lieu of the required ID, but it must be notarized, so plan ahead.

Number 2 pencils

Bring two sharpened number 2 pencils with good erasers. Don't bring pens, colored pencils, or any other types of writing devices.

The right calculator

The College Board has a list of approved calculators. On the list are several graphing calculators and scientific calculators. If your student does not already have a graphing calculator, and will not need one in the near future, you may opt for a scientific calculator instead. These are a small fraction of the price of the approved graphing calculators, and will be adequate for most problems on the test.

If you are getting your child a new calculator, particularly a graphing calculator, for the test, make sure they know how to use it. Don't wait until a couple of days before the test to have them try it out. Graphing calculators are complicated, and it takes time to learn all the functions.

Social Security number

If your child has not memorized their own Social Security number, make sure it is written down for them. I suggest writing it in Sharpie on the back of their calculator. You can remove the ink with rubbing alcohol after the test is over, and your child won't have to keep up with a piece of paper with their sensitive information on it.

Comfortable clothing

Your child should wear comfy clothes on the day of the test, because they will be sitting in the testing room for up to four hours with minimal breaks. Because you have no way to know how warm or cold the room will be, layers are a good idea, with a sweater that they can take off or slip back on as needed.

EpiPen 

According to the College Board site, students do not need special permission to bring their EpiPen into the testing area, but it may be a good idea to inform the test coordinator or proctor if you have one, in case they need to administer it to you in an emergency.

Nothing else unless approved

Anything else you might bring into the testing area, including other medications, food or drink, or anything not on this list would have to be approved with special accommodations by the College Board. You need to contact them as early as possible to request accomodations if needed.

Don't forget, the PSAT is administered in October each year. If your student will be a junior this fall, this is the year that it counts. If they miss the exam date, they will not be able to make it up later. Younger students can take a practice run at the PSAT ahead of their junior year, but all students who wish to take the test should register early at a nearby school.

How to sign up for the PSAT

If you are a homeschooler, signing up for the PSAT is more complicated than if you were enrolled in public school. According to the College Board website, homeschooled students need to reach out to a local school to register to take the PSAT in the fall, and the recommend doing so four months in advance.

The PSAT is administered at many public and private schools, and you can do a search on the College Board site to find locations near you. Not every site listed will have space available to take homeschooled students, especially as the testing date in early October draws near, so make contact as early as you can. Do not wait until the end of September and expect to secure a spot, as test coordinators have to order their materials in advance.

The PSAT is an important test for college bound students to take, and unlike other exams such as the SAT and ACT, it is only given in October each year. The PSAT is used to determine eligibility for the National Merit Scholarship, and a good score can also open the door to hundreds of other scholarships associated with the test.

The only time the PSAT actually counts is when taken during a student's junior year, and if they miss that date, they won't be able to make it up later. Students can take a practice run at the PSAT ahead of their junior year, though, and since they have nothing to lose by doing so, I would definitely recommend it.

Coming up next on the blog... what to take with you to the PSAT. There's one item lots of parents forget, and you can't take the test without it! Do you know what's on the list?

My Disorganized Path to Homeschooling Success - on sale now!

Just in time for back to school, my first book, The Unplanned Homeschooler: My Disorganized Path to Homeschooling Success, is available for 75 percent off the list price if you make your purchase at the link below using the coupon code, SUCCESS.

This book is perfect for new homeschoolers or anyone who needs encouragement as they move forward in their homeschooling journey, especially those of you who are feeling a bit overwhelmed by it all.

I understand that homeschooling can be stressful, especially as you navigate the ever expanding sea of curriculum and try to outline a workable plan. It helps to know that you are not alone, and that you can find your way, establishing a rhythm as you go.

Every child is unique, and so is every homeschooling parent. You don't have to do school just like everyone else in order to be a homeschooling success!

Pick up the downloadable version of my book for the lowest price ever - just $1.00 for a very limited time if you use the coupon code, SUCCESS, and purchase through the Learning Tangent Homeschool Marketplace. This deal will only last through August 31, and then the amazing discount will be gone for good.

And don't forget to check out The Unplanner - quite possibly the most affordable professionally-bound homeschool organizer on the market. It has all the pages you need, and none of the ones you don't!

If I can do it, you can, too... or maybe not

"If I can do it, you can, too." It's a message we hear repeated over and over. It's an attractive and affirming sentiment that I'd never thought about much until one of my kids casually said, "Nuh uh," at the end of a television commercial.

It got my attention, such that I actually hit pause on the TV remote and asked what he meant.

"I can't balance on a soccer ball," he replied, noting the stunt the actor on the commercial had performed. "I don't know how they can do those things, but I can't. And don't even say I could if I practiced really hard. I know what you're thinking."

He was right. I have always had a strong tendency to believe that you can do anything you put your mind to, and that with enough hard work and practice comes success. And even though I know that there are exceptions, I've always really come down firmly on the side of, "If I can do it, you can, too."

It seems like such a positive affirmation, but is there a problem with the idea of, "If I can do it, you can, too," especially when it comes to homeschooling? What if you or your child genuinely can't?

Here's the thing. I was the type of student to whom most subjects always came pretty easily. With the exception of foreign languages, which were difficult because of a hearing impairment, learning things in school was as simple as paying attention and reading the required material. It just sunk in. And learning things as an adult has been just about the same.

But the problem is that if learning comes too easily, you might assume that it should be easy for others, too. If you can do it, they should be able to, too, right? Well, maybe or maybe not.

Homeschool hints for huge savings on school supplies

Some people think homeschooling has to be expensive, but one of the best parts about homeschooling is that you can save tons of money on back to school. I didn't even have a clue how much I could really save until I'd been homeschooling for a few years. Now I know!

Having grown up going to public school, I was really trapped in the mindset that I needed to buy all the supplies on the back to school list to have a successful year. It's just not true. Homeschoolers aren't likely to need new scissors, rulers, school boxes and backpacks each year. Markers and colored pencils can last longer than a year if they are cared for well.

Experienced homeschoolers know it is easy to whittle down that list, saving big time on the supplies we need - and only the supplies we need - while skipping the superfluous purchases that might otherwise drain our wallets. Here are a bunch of my favorite money-saving tips, along with a few splurges you might want to consider.

Replacing your homeschool materials after a disaster

Disasters can happen to anyone, and when they do, the best you can hope for is that you are somewhat prepared to handle the damage. One of toughest things we, as homeschoolers, go through when facing a disaster is the complete or partial loss of our children's educational supplies. You may have hundreds or even thousands of dollars invested in your homeschool materials! How can you teach if you lose your curriculum and all the extras that go with it?

A couple of years ago, a homeschooling friend of mine in Louisiana lost practically everything in the floods that inundated her town. Her daughter, an avid reader, truly mourned the loss of her books. It was heartbreaking to see the devastation. A while later I lost a whole shelf of homeschool books in a much smaller disaster involving a leaking pipe in the wall behind one of my bookshelves.

The thing we had in common was insurance. Thankfully our homeowner's insurance helped me to replace my kids' books quickly and easily. All I had to do was show the adjustor the damaged items, along with proof of their value, and he added those to our settlement.

Read how my kids reacted in our first night time fire drill!

Most homeowners today are required to have insurance, and although not all policies pay for all types of disasters, this is the absolute first and best thing you can do to protect your homeschool supplies.

If you are a renter, the decision whether to get insurance is usually left up to you, and unfortunately, many renters choose to forego this small expense and take the risk. I suggest you consider how much you have invested, not only in your books and other homeschool supplies, but everything else in your home. The cost of renter's insurance is so small compared to the cost of replacing everything in the case of a disaster. Don't let your failure to plan ahead become your family's great regret.

Help from government agencies

If you are the victim of a large disaster, such as a flood, hurricane, tornado, major earthquake, wildfire or similar situation, you may be entitled to help from government agencies. In addition to assistance from agencies like FEMA, the federal government offers tax assistance to those who qualify through the Benefits.gov website.

Help from the community

Members of your own local community may be eager to help you get back on your feet if you are the victim of a singular disaster such as a house fire, sink hole, or major theft. Don't hesitate to reach out to charitable organizations in your town or your state. Be flexible if you can, but be specific about the materials that were lost if you find folks who are willing to help you replace them with identical items.

Help from fellow homeschoolers

No one knows your needs quite like other homeschoolers, and many homeschoolers give generously in times of disaster. Check with the HSLDA charitable branch, The Homeschool Foundation to see if they might be able to help. Also, contact your state homeschool organization to see if they have a charitable outreach, or know churches or other organizations that offer help in your area. And definitely put the word out in your local homeschool group or co-op, in case other members might have usable materials they would like to pass your way.

Help from publishers

You may be able to get help from publishers of certain homeschool curricula if you reach out and let them know your situation, but please understand if they are unable to help. Let me explain this the best I can, because I have seen many recent comments online accusing publishers and distributors of greed or heartlessness because they were unable to replace lost materials after a disaster.

I am a publisher of homeschool books and materials, such as The Unplanner and The Periodic Table Matching Game. I price my products very low, to pass savings to you. But if you bought a copy of The Unplanner from me, and it burned up in a fire or molded in a flood, I couldn't replace it or even give you a significant discount without paying for that out of my own pocket. That's because the profit I get from each paperback book is just a tiny percentage. So as much as I would love to help, I could not afford to do that, especially if I got multiple requests per year.

Book publishers, and even popular distributors like Christian Book Distributors, would face significant financial strain if they replaced physical copies of books and resources for every homeschooler who wrote to them with such a request.

Now, if you could show me that you had purchased an e-book or downloadable, I would be much more able to replace that resource than something in print. That would cost me time, but not much in the way of money, and that's something I can more easily afford as a small publisher.

So if you make a request for assistance, be grateful for anything the publisher or distributor can give, and please be understanding if they cannot. Remember, if just 100 people per year made requests with an average cost $500 from a large company like Christian Book Distributors, that would add up to $50,000. That's enough to pay at least one worker for a whole year! If 1000 people made similar requests, that would add up to half a million dollars. That's a huge chunk of a company's bottom line. Don't run down a publisher or distributor, threaten to boycott or spam them, or question their Christianity because they aren't running their business as a non-profit charity.