Google The Unplanned Homeschooler: Summer sports that will help your kids survive the zombie apocalypse

Monday, July 4, 2016

Summer sports that will help your kids survive the zombie apocalypse

Are you having trouble motivating your kids to get outdoors and move their bodies this summer? It is awfully hot outside, but we know that kids need fresh air, exercise and play! The trick to getting your kids moving in a healthy way over the summer, besides scheduling outdoor time during the cooler parts of the day, is to provide them with the right sort of motivation.

I'm thinking, surviving the zombie apocalypse ought to do the trick! What better motivation is there than the very survival of the human race? Now, there may never be a zombie apocalypse, but even the CDC has done its part to prepare us for a world infested with zombies, so we should encourage our kids to engage in activities that will help them to ultimately overcome the onslaught and survive.

To that frightening end, let’s figure out the best summer sports your family can focus on to train for battle with the flesh-eating zombies who used to be your friends and neighbors. And remember, you don’t want to start a panic in your neighborhood, so don't feel like you have to tell anyone you are in training to survive the zombie apocalypse. Just take comfort in knowing that your family's efforts at mastering the following sports may mean the difference between life and death… or undeath, as the case may be.


Obviously, running is the most important skill you can develop in the face of a zombie apocalypse. If your kids can’t outrun the zombies, they may never survive. Now, maybe your family will be lucky and the zombies will be slow, like the “Night of the Living Dead” creatures. In that case, stamina is the key. But if the zombies are the viral sort, like the super-fast infected creatures of “28 Days Later”, you are going to need speed. Work on your sprints if you want to survive.


It's a well known fact that zombies are not typically good swimmers, maybe because they don't have any breath to hold, so they tend to sink. Even the zombies in “28 Days Later” couldn’t swim well enough to catch the people who scrambled into a boat to escape, and those were the super fast and athletic type pf creatures.

It’s a pretty good bet that if you and your kids develop your swimming skills, you will be able to escape the pursuit of zombies by fleeing directly into the water. Just make sure to focus on treading water, too, as you may be stuck offshore for a while.


Woody Harrelson’s character in “Zombieland” proved how effective a baseball bat can be in a pinch. Sure, a shotgun packs more punch, but if you have to take off a zombie’s head with a club, you will be glad you worked on your swing.

Your daughters don't have to bat with the power and accuracy of the University of Oklahoma's women's softball team to bash in a zombie's skull, but knocking softballs over the fences would sure be a fun way to learn how to put their body weight behind a blow for maximum effectiveness.

If your kids can’t join a summer league, at least hit the batting cages together and learn to swing for the fences with the highest accuracy.


The only bad thing about a baseball bat is a really good whack could expose you to bodily fluids, and those could potentially turn you or your kids into zombies, too. But if you become a master of archery, you will be able stop the zombies undead in their tracks almost silently from a safe distance.

Check into archery classes offered by your local 4-H or other organizations and teach even the youngest members of your family to defend against a zombie onslaught.


Even more effective against zombie invaders than bows and arrows are firearms. Now, your family members don’t have to be Olympians to shoot competitively, but you do need to learn how to safely use a firearm so that you don't accidentally shoot each other instead of taking out a hungry zombie. The National Shooting Sports Foundation can help you find ranges near you where young and old can learn to shoot firearms safely and even participate in tournaments.

Besides learning to shoot targets with increasing accuracy and competing for prizes, you will be increasing your fine motor skills and core strength while developing your power of concentration, all of which are vital to your survival if the zombies attack.

Now, if you can't get your kids motivated to train hard this summer, I am not sure what more anyone can do. You know the risks, Zombies love couch potatoes because they are slow and have practically no defenses, so call the kids, lace up your shoes and get out there before it is too late.

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